Chuck Norris Facts?

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Captain Ahab

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Redbug inspired me - list your favorite Chuck Norris facts. be original.

Here are few off teh cuff:

Chuck Norris is not listed in the Phone book because yo0u just dial 1800 Dropkick!

Chuck Norris does not need a rod or reel to catch fish becuase he can part the water like Moses with a fast hand chop



PLEASE ADD YOUR OWN
 
Archeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It’s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The archeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it’s simply not possible for Mr. Norris to be killed.
 
I like these two:

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

and

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
 
ok heres a few i like; Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
im sure u guys prob have heard these
 
In August 2005 Mr. T, Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris went shark fishing 845 miles east of Bermuda and 1,139 miles west of the Azores Islands. After finishing off 10 kegs of Milwaukees Best and 2 barbequed tiger sharks Mr.T asked Vin Diesel to pull his finger. At the exact moment that Vin Diesel pulled Mr. T's finger Chuck Norris round house kicked Mr. T in the stomach "for fun". The resulting flatulence refered to by most as "Hurricane Katrina" has cost over $1.13 billion so far and almost destroyed New Orleans. To help aliviate his conscious Chuck will provide free "Roundhouse Kick" seminars to the hurricane victims. As for Mr. T he will simply pity the fools.
 
shizzy said:
Chuck Norris will fight you any time of the day. Except when "The View" is on. :eek:

When dealing with Chuck remember it's not a fight.. he will beat you until your bloody any time of day !!!
 
When Chuck Norris was born his parents knew he was special, and couldn't think of a name. His older brother, Norris, looked in aww at his incredibly tough and cool newborn brother. His father said to his mom "Chuck Norris, this one is way better" and so he was named Chuck Norris. :roll:
 
If you say "Chuck Norris" into a mirror ten times on Friday the 13th, Chuck Norris will show up behind you with an axe. Then he'll try to sell you the axe to support his various substance addictions. :eek:
 

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