FishingCop
Well-known member
The wife's back on the warpath again. Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night or, "foreplay", as she likes to call it.
After suffering from depression for a while, the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, screw it, I'll soldier on!
I woke up this morning at 8:00 a.m. and felt that something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered that McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!" As I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you *******!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night or, "foreplay", as she likes to call it.
After suffering from depression for a while, the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, screw it, I'll soldier on!
I woke up this morning at 8:00 a.m. and felt that something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered that McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!" As I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you *******!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
