How to Poop at Work

[BaitCaster]

:LOL2: glad to see my post provoked so much discussion about going to the bathroom!!

 

[nathanielrthomas]

I poop at work exclusively monday thru friday. Saves TP and I enjoy crapping on Navy time, because lord knows they crap on mine. I keep a roll of TP in the boat in a gallon ziploc for those emergencies.

And Dyeguy, thanks for enlightening us with the use of the phrase "post-pizza soft serve". It has been added to my vocabulary

 

[Waterwings]

I experienced that a lot in Europe. The train station in Italy really sticks in my mind. Had an upset stomach and......well, a 4 inch hole over a running trough just isn't pleasant at all. Squat over this? No handles to hold onto? Ended up taking my pants off to be safe!

Now there's an image you don't want in you mind too long. :shock:

I've experienced that while overseas also, and it ain't fun. In '73 our ship broke down in Toulon, France (**** the luck, lol) and they had to drydock us. So, we had to use the facilities on the pier, which were the type you speak of (we referred to them as "bombsites"). Being the ingeniuous people we were, and having access to torches and such, we took a metal folding chair, cutout a circle in the seat, then lined the edges with padded lagging material. We would foldup the chair, carry it off the ship, down the pier, and then set it up over the "bombsite". The French really got a kick out of that, lol. :lol:

Oh, and we always referred to a case of the squirts as having the "Mediterranean Screamers". Chris, you drink any of that green Peroni beer thay have in Itally? They sell it at Olive Garden, but it just doesn't taste the same as it did back then. :shock:

 

[brmurray]

COURTESY FLUSH is a golden rule that all should follow. I am a OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER also! :LOL2:

 

[Brine]

Probably best to keep the Poop discussions in one topic :mrgreen:

This thread reminded me of a couple funny stories I read on another site about embarassing moments while fishing and #2.

fishing carters lake in november a few years back,very cold morning. no sooner than we reached our fishing hole i had to use the bathroom in a bad way thanks to waffle house. didnt have a thing to wipe with in the boat so i had planned to cut my underwear up to use to wipe with,i was trying to find a good place to get out of the boat and its all i could do to hold it.so i pulled in to the bank and found a place i could get out pretty easy so i took to running trying to get out of sight incase anyone came by fishing,i had ran as far as i could go and i happen to look down and there laid a camo glove so i thought heck its ment for me to do it right here so i dropped my pants and let it fly i felt so much better, so i cut the glove up and wiped myself,stood up put my coveralls back on and i heard someone say.."i appreciate that a**hole" i looked around but didnt see anyone so i kept walking back to the lake when i heard the voice again say "jerk" i turned around and some guy was about 35 foot up a tree in a deer stand lowering his bow to the ground, it was his glove i cut up and i crapped right under his deer stand lol..i felt bad for what i had done so i hollered "sorry man i didnt see you" needless to say i kept walking and got in the boat and hauled it out of there..lol...i sure hope it wasnt any of you guys..lol.lol. its all funny now but i was afraid arrows were going to fly our way lol...my buddy thought a bear was after me when i came hauling back to the boat,,he never knew what happened until we were on the other side of the lake then i told him..lol...

 

[Codeman]

I have to add to this. Had breakfast with a friend of mine Saturday. They are getting ready to build a new house and he is having a pond dug. He was meeting with the guy and they were going over things and he was asking to make sure there no kinds of lines (sewer, water, gas etc) on the property yet. So my buddy said it was cold so he was wearing insulated overalls and a jacket, well he said one snuck out on him, being bundled up pretty tight it only had one place to vent, yep out the top of his coat. He said he was about to cry it smelled so bad but was trying to maintain his composure, he said the guy kind of grabbed his arm and said "wait a minute you smell that? That is raw sewage, you sure there aren't any sewer lines out here?" I just about fell out of my chair laughing.

 

[perchin]

I So my buddy said it was cold so he was wearing insulated overalls and a jacket, well he said one snuck out on him, being bundled up pretty tight it only had one place to vent, yep out the top of his coat.

yep...we calls dem dere... "Chimney Farts" :LOL2:

 

[Waterwings]

...yep...we calls dem dere... "Chimney Farts" :LOL2:

Lol, gotta remember that one! :lol:

 

[Waterwings]

We had a guy on one of my ships that was notorious for walking up next to you, or purposedly sitting next to you, and ripping-off the rankest farts ever smelled that would knock a maggot off a gut wagon. One day it backfired on him though (yep, you know where this is leading). We had just finished eating lunch and he came over and sat down on the couch by me, and I told him don't even think about! As he leaned over on one cheek to let the noxious vapors excape, he made a grimacing face as if to really work into it, and then a strange look of surprise and bewilderment came over his face all at once :shock: . He had just let loose a full load in his skivvies, lol. We never let him live that down, and his practical jokes slowed-down for quite awhile, lol.

 

[BaitCaster]

Many years ago I played guitar in a travelling bar band. Our bass player had notoriously stinky farts and loved the reaction he got after letting one rip. Once he let one go while we were driving down the highway. It was so bad we had to pull over and get out. He sat in the van laughing so hard he puked on himself! We are still fishing buddies and he still loves to let them go in the boat.